Using the Wrong Need Tool

For most of our ancient ancestors, the satisfaction of a lower need probably led to the natural satisfaction of the next need. For the hunter, becoming proficient at hunting satisfied our need for food, and the same skill we used for hunting, the use of a spear or bow, probably helped satisfy our need for safety at the same time. Being a good hunter probably made an individual highly sought after by the opposite gender and probably led to a pretty high feeling of oneself and one’s standing in the community. The tool used for our physiological needs was also great for each of our other, higher, needs as well.

Read more - Our Hierarchy of Needs

The same argument could be made for the gatherer as well. Being a successful gatherer would likely be attractive to the opposite gender looking for someone who could produce and raise enough offspring to adulthood. This person would be praised, on some level, for raising a healthy family. Being a successful gatherer reverberated up the needs hierarchy as well.

Wants vs. Needs

In a world filled with countless temptations and desires, distinguishing between our wants and needs can be a challenging and often perplexing task. Our daily lives are bombarded with marketing messages, societal pressures, and a culture that constantly urges us to seek more. But if we can begin to understand why we struggle so much to know the difference, maybe we can make better decisions and start to head down a more fulfilling path in life.

Finding Contentment

Finding contentment in life is a journey that transcends the mere pursuit of happiness. While happiness often comes and goes as a reaction to external events, contentment is a deeper, more enduring state of fulfillment that emerges from understanding and accepting oneself. In today's fast-paced world, where societal pressures and material ambitions frequently dictate our sense of worth, the quest for contentment has become both a personal challenge and a vital component of well-being.

Happiness is Excitement

“When you see someone who is genuinely excited, look at the expression on their face and what do you see. Most likely you see the look of happiness.”

Since time immemorial, philosophers and thinkers have wrestled with the nature of happiness, seeking to define what it truly means to live a good life. For Socrates, happiness is the ultimate desire—the driving force behind every human action. He argued that everything we do ultimately aims at achieving happiness, making it an unconditional good, a universal end that transcends all other pursuits.

William James offered a dynamic perspective, suggesting that happiness isn’t something that simply happens to us, but rather something we actively create. According to him, our engagement and participation in life’s unfolding events are what shape our experience of happiness. It is through our actions, decisions, and interactions that we construct a sense of joy and fulfillment.

Aristotle, too, viewed happiness as an active state. For him, it was not a passive feeling but a continuous state of living well—an ongoing activity of cultivating virtue and excellence in all aspects of life. In his view, happiness emerges when we immerse ourselves in meaningful pursuits and strive to achieve our highest potential.

Together, these perspectives remind us that happiness is a multifaceted concept. It is both the ultimate goal we aim for and the result of our active engagement with life. Whether seen as an unconditional end, a product of our efforts, or a state of flourishing, happiness is ultimately about living in a way that nurtures our deepest values and aspirations.

Happiness isn’t a destination or a commodity—it’s a feeling, one that emerges from transformative experiences. It’s the exhilaration we feel when we enter a state of flow—a moment when we are so absorbed in an activity that everything else falls away. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi described flow as a state where people are so deeply engaged that nothing else seems to matter, and the experience is so compelling that they willingly endure great challenges just to remain in it. This intense immersion brings about what we call a peak experience, a surge of excitement that encapsulates true happiness.

Rather than something we can actively pursue or purchase, happiness happens organically when we are engaged in meaningful pursuits. It arises when we accomplish something new or improve upon our existing skills, when we uncover hidden facets of our identity, or when we overcome obstacles we once thought insurmountable. These moments of achievement and self-discovery are the sparks that light up our inner world, even if they seem fleeting.

While the immediate thrill of these peak experiences may fade, their impact lingers. Each encounter with happiness subtly transforms us, contributing to the mosaic of who we are and who we aspire to be. In this way, happiness isn’t just a temporary high—it’s an integral part of our journey toward personal growth and fulfillment.

Updated 3/9/2025